Volume II (1615)

CHAPTER LVII

Which recounts how Don Quixote took his leave of the duke, and what befell him with the clever and bold Altisidora, the duchess’s maiden

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Now it seemed to Don Quixote that it would be good for him to abandon the extreme idleness in which he had been living in the castle, for he imagined it would be a great mistake for him to remain confined and inactive among the infinite luxuries and pleasures offered to him as a knight errant by the duke and duchess, and he thought he would have to give a strict accounting to heaven with regard to this confinement and inactivity; and so, one day he asked the duke and duchess for permission to leave. They granted it, indicating that it grieved them deeply that he was going. The duchess gave Sancho Panza the letters from his wife, and he wept over them, saying:

“Who would have thought that hopes as great as the ones born in the heart of my wife, Teresa Panza, at the news of my governorship would end in my returning to the miserable adventures of my master, Don Quixote of La Mancha? Even so, I’m happy to see that my Teresa behaved like the person she is and sent the acorns to the duchess, because if she hadn’t sent them, I would have been very sorry to see her so ungrateful. What comforts me is that this gift can’t be called a bribe, because I already had the governorship when she sent them, and it’s only right that people who receive a benefit should show that they are grateful, even if it’s with trifles. In fact, I came into the governorship naked, and I left it naked, and so I can say with a clear conscience, which is no small thing: ‘Naked I was born, and I’m naked now: I haven’t lost or gained a thing.’”

Sancho said this to himself on the day of their departure, and Don Quixote, having taken his leave of the duke and duchess the night before, came out in the morning and appeared in his armor on the castle square. All the people in the castle watched him from the passageways, and the duke and duchess also came out to see him. Sancho was on his gray, with his saddlebags, traveling case, and provisions, and he was very happy because the duke’s steward, the one who had played Countess Trifaldi, had given him a purse with two hundred gold escudos for expenses on the road, and Don Quixote did not know about this yet.

While everyone was looking at Don Quixote, as has been said, suddenly, from among the duchess’s duennas and maidens who were watching him, the bold and clever Altisidora raised her voice, and in woeful tones she said:

“Oh listen, most wicked knight;

pull up your reins for a while;

do not belabor the flanks

of your uncontrollable steed.

Consider, false one, no fearsome

serpent pursues you, you flee

nothing but a gentle lamb,

one far from being a ewe.

O monster, you have deceived

the fairest, most comely maid

Diana saw in her forests,

or Venus saw in her woods.

Vireno most cruel, O fugitive Aeneas, 573

may Barabbas go with you; you belong with him.

You take with you, oh cruel taking,

clutched in your bloodthirsty claws

the loving heart of a damsel enamored,

humble, and young.

You have taken her three nightcaps,

and garters both black and white

from legs that rival the purest

marble in their smooth whiteness.

You have taken two thousand sighs

that could, if they were of fire,

burn and destroy two thousand Troys

if there were two thousand Troys.

Vireno most cruel, oh fugitive Aeneas,

may Barabbas go with you; you belong with him.

As for your squire named Sancho,

may his heart be as hard as stone,

as cold as ice: then Dulcinea

will ne’er be freed of enchantment.

The fault is no one’s but yours,

but let her pay for your crime;

perhaps in my land the just

must pay and suffer for sinners.

May your most noble adventures

be nothing but misadventures,

your pleasures, nothing but dreams,

your courage, gone and forgotten.

Cruel Vireno, fugitive Aeneas,

May Barabbas go with you; you belong with him.

May you be known as false-hearted

from Sevilla to Marchena,

from Granada to far Loja,

from fair London throughout England.

If you ever play reinado,

los cientos, or la primera, 574

may all the kings fly from you,

as well as aces and sevens.

If you ever trim your corns,

may the blood spurt from the wounds,

and if you have your molars pulled

may they break off at the roots.

Cruel Vireno, fugitive Aeneas,

May Barabbas go with you; you belong with him.”

While the piteous Altisidora lamented her aforementioned fate, Don Quixote stared fixedly at her, not saying a word, and then he turned to Sancho and said:

“By all the years of your forebears, Sancho my friend, I implore you to tell me the truth. Tell me, have you, by any chance, taken the three nightcaps and the garters that this enamored maiden has mentioned?”

To which Sancho responded:

“I do have the three nightcaps, but the garters—that’s really crazy.”

The duchess was amazed at the boldness of Altisidora, for although she considered her audacious, lively, and bold, she did not think she would dare carry things so far, and since she had not been told about this joke, her amazement grew even more. The duke wanted to go on with the clever deception, and he said:

“It does not seem right to me, Señor Knight, that after receiving in this castle the warm welcome that was offered to you, you have dared take away at least three nightcaps, not to mention garters, that belong to my maiden; these are indications of an ungrateful heart, signs that do not correspond to your fame. Return the garters to her; if not, I challenge you to mortal combat, with no fear that your roguish enchanters will change or alter my face, as they did to Tosilos, my footman, who entered into battle with you.”

“God forbid,” responded Don Quixote, “that I unsheathe my sword against your most illustrious person, from whom I have received so many kindnesses; I shall return the nightcaps, because Sancho says he has them; as for the garters, that is impossible, because I do not have them and neither does he; if this maiden of yours would look through her hiding places, I am sure she would find them. I, Señor Duke, have never been a thief, nor do I intend to be one for the rest of my life, unless God abandons me. This maiden speaks, as she has said, as one enamored, and for that I am not to blame; and so, I have no reason to beg her pardon, or yours, although I implore Your Excellency to have a better opinion of me, and to once again give me your permission to continue on my way.”

“May God so favor you there,” said the duchess, “Señor Don Quixote, that we always hear good reports of your deeds. And go with God, for the longer you tarry, the more you fan the flames in the hearts of the maidens who look upon you; as for this maiden, I shall punish her so that from now on she will not be insolent in her glances or her words.”

“I want you to hear only one more word of mine, O valiant Don Quixote!” said Altisidora. “I beg your pardon for saying you stole my garters, because by God and my soul, I am wearing them, and I have fallen into the careless error of the man who went looking for the donkey he was riding on.”

“Didn’t I say so?” said Sancho. “I’m the right one to go around hiding stolen things! If I wanted to do that, I could’ve done it to my heart’s content in my governorship.”

Don Quixote bowed his head in deference to the duke and duchess and all the onlookers, and turning Rocinante’s reins, and with Sancho riding after him on the gray, he left the castle and followed the road to Zaragoza.

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