Volume II (1615)

CHAPTER LXXII

Concerning how Don Quixote and Sancho arrived in their village

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Don Quixote and Sancho spent the entire day in that village and in that inn, waiting for nightfall, the latter, to conclude a round of whipping in the open air, and the former, to see it completed, for this was all his desire. In the meantime, a traveler on horseback arrived at the inn, along with three or four servants, one of whom said to the one who seemed to be their master:

“Señor Don Álvaro Tarfe, your grace can spend the hottest part of the day here: the inn seems clean and cool.”

Hearing this, Don Quixote said to Sancho:

“Look, Sancho: when I leafed through that book about the second part of my history, it seems to me I happened to run across this name of Don Álvaro Tarfe.”660

“That might be,” responded Sancho. “We’ll let him dismount, and then we can ask him about it.”

The gentleman dismounted, and the innkeeper gave him a room on the ground floor, across from Don Quixote’s lodging, which was hung with other tapestries like the ones in Don Quixote’s room. The newcomer, dressed in summer clothes, came out to the portico of the inn, which was spacious and cool, and seeing Don Quixote walking there, he asked:

“Señor, may I ask where your grace is traveling?”

And Don Quixote responded:

“To a nearby village, which is where I live. And your grace, where are you going?”

“I, Señor,” responded the gentleman, “am going to Granada, which is my home.”

“A fine home!” replied Don Quixote. “But would your grace please be so kind as to tell me your name, because I believe it will be more important for me to know it than I can ever tell you.”

“My name is Don Álvaro Tarfe,” responded the guest at the inn.

To which Don Quixote replied:

“I think beyond any doubt that your grace must be the Don Álvaro Tarfe whose name appears in the second part of the History of Don Quixote of La Mancha, recently published and brought into the light of the world by a modern author.”

“I am,” responded the gentleman, “and Don Quixote, the principal subject of this history, was a great friend of mine; I was the one who took him from his home, or, at least, persuaded him to come with me to the jousts being held in Zaragoza; and the truth of the matter is that I became very friendly with him and saved him more than once from tasting a whip on his back because of his insolence.”

“And, Señor Don Álvaro, can your grace tell me if I resemble in any way the Don Quixote you have mentioned?”

“No, certainly not,” responded the guest, “not at all.”

“And that Don Quixote,” said our Don Quixote, “did he have with him a squire named Sancho Panza?”

“He did,” responded Don Álvaro, “and though he was famous for being very amusing, I never heard him say any witticism that was.”

“I can believe that,” said Sancho at this point, “because saying amusing things is not for everybody, and the Sancho your grace is talking about, Señor, must be a great scoundrel, a dullard, and a thief all at the same time, because I’m the real Sancho Panza, and I have more amusing things to say than there are rainstorms; and if you don’t think so, your grace can put it to the test, and follow after me for at least a year, and then you’ll see whether or not amusing things drop off me at every step, so many of them that without my knowing what I’ve said most of the time, I make everybody who hears me laugh; and the real Don Quixote of La Mancha, the one who’s famous, valiant, intelligent, and enamored, the righter of wrongs, the defender of wards and orphans, the protector of widows, a ladykiller with maidens, the one whose only lady is the peerless Dulcinea of Toboso, he is this gentleman here present, my master; every other Don Quixote and any other Sancho Panza are a trick and a dream.”

“By God, I believe it!” responded Don Álvaro. “You have said more amusing things, my friend, in the few sentences you have spoken than the other Sancho Panza did in all the ones I heard him speak, and there were many! He was more gluttonous than well-spoken, and more foolish than amusing, and I believe beyond any doubt that the enchanters who pursue the good Don Quixote have wanted to pursue me along with the bad Don Quixote. But I don’t know what to say, because I would swear I left him in the House of the Nuncio661 in Toledo to be cured, and now suddenly here’s another Don Quixote, though one very different from mine.”

“I,” said Don Quixote, “do not know if I am good, but I can say I am not the bad one, and as proof of this I want your grace to know, Señor Don Álvaro Tarfe, that in all the days of my life I have never been in Zaragoza; rather, because I had been told that this imaginary Don Quixote had gone to the jousts there, I refused to enter the city, thereby revealing the lie to everyone; instead, I went directly to Barcelona: fountain of courtesy, shelter of strangers, hospice to the poor, land of the valiant, avenger of the offended, reciprocator of firm friendship, a city unique in its location and beauty. And although the events that befell me there are not pleasing, but very grievous, I bear them better simply for having seen Barcelona. In short, Señor Don Álvaro Tarfe, I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, the same one who is on the lips of Fame, and not that unfortunate man who has wanted to usurp my name and bring honor to himself with my thoughts. I implore your grace, for the sake of what you owe to your being a gentleman, to please make a statement to the magistrate of this village, saying that your grace has not seen me in all the days of your life until now, and that I am not the Don Quixote published in the second part, nor is this Sancho Panza, my squire, the one known by your grace.”

“I shall do that very gladly,” responded Don Álvaro, “although it astounds me to see two Don Quixotes and two Sanchos at the same time, as alike in their names as they are different in their actions; and I say again and affirm again that I have not seen what I have seen or experienced what I have experienced.”

“No doubt,” said Sancho, “your grace must be enchanted, like my lady Dulcinea of Toboso, and if it please heaven, I could disenchant your grace by giving myself another three thousand or so lashes the way I’m doing for her, and I would do it without charging interest.”

“I don’t understand what you mean by lashes,” said Don Álvaro.

And Sancho responded that it was a long story, but he would tell it to him if they were traveling in the same direction.

At this point it was time to eat, and Don Quixote and Don Álvaro dined together. The magistrate of the village happened to come into the inn, along with a scribe, and Don Quixote submitted a petition to him saying that under the law it would be a good idea if Don Álvaro Tarfe, the gentleman here present, should declare before his grace that he did not know Don Quixote of La Mancha, also present, and that he, Don Quixote, was not the one who had appeared in a history entitled Second Part of Don Quixote of La Mancha, written by someone named Avellaneda, a native of Tordesillas. In brief, the magistrate gave his legal decision; the statement was made with all the juridical force that could be brought to bear in such cases, which made Don Quixote and Sancho very happy, as if such a statement mattered a great deal, and as if the difference between the two Don Quixotes and the two Sanchos could not be clearly seen in their actions and words. Many courtesies and offers of service were exchanged by Don Álvaro and Don Quixote, and in them the great Manchegan showed so much intelligence and sense that Don Álvaro was convinced he had been in error, and even came to believe he must have been enchanted, for he had touched two such antithetical Don Quixotes with his own hand.

As evening approached they left the village, and after about half a league their ways diverged, one leading to Don Quixote’s village, the other the road that Don Álvaro had to follow. In this short period of time, Don Quixote recounted the misfortune of his defeat, and the enchantment of Dulcinea and its remedy, all of which caused renewed as-tonishment in Don Álvaro, who embraced Don Quixote and Sancho and continued on his way, while Don Quixote continued on his, planning to spend the night in another wood in order to give Sancho a chance to complete his penance, which he did in the same manner as the previous night, more at the expense of the bark on the beeches than his back, which he protected so carefully that the lashes could not have removed a fly if one had been there.

The deceived Don Quixote did not miss a single blow as he kept count, and he discovered that with those administered the night before, they amounted to three thousand twenty-nine. It seems the sun rose early in order to witness the sacrifice, and in its light they resumed their journey, the two of them discussing the deception of Don Álvaro and how wise it had been to take his statement legally, before a magistrate.

They traveled that day and night, and nothing occurred worthy of recording except that Sancho completed his task, which made Don Quixote extraordinarily happy, and he longed for daylight to see if he would meet on the road his disenchanted lady Dulcinea; but as he traveled, he encountered no woman whom he recognized as Dulcinea of Toboso, for he considered it incontrovertible that the promises of Merlin could not lie.

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With these thoughts and desires they climbed a hill, and from there they could see their village, and when he saw it, Sancho dropped to his knees and said:

“Open your eyes, my beloved country, and see that your son Sancho Panza has come back to you, if not very rich, at least well-flogged. Open your arms and receive as well your son Don Quixote, who, though he returns conquered by another, returns the conqueror of himself; and, as he has told me, that is the greatest conquest anyone can desire. I’m bringing money, because if I’ve had a good lashing, at least I left riding a horse.”662

“Enough of your foolishness,” said Don Quixote, “and let us get off to a good start in our village, where we shall exercise our imaginations and plan the pastoral life we intend to lead.”

With this they descended the hill and went toward their village.

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