{"id":238,"date":"2019-12-01T16:45:24","date_gmt":"2019-12-01T16:45:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.publiconsulting.com\/wordpress\/donquixoteoflamancha\/chapter\/second-part-chapter-ii-2\/"},"modified":"2020-03-23T07:36:33","modified_gmt":"2020-03-23T07:36:33","slug":"second-part-chapter-ii","status":"publish","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/www.publiconsulting.com\/wordpress\/donquixoteoflamancha\/chapter\/second-part-chapter-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"Second Part. Chapter II"},"content":{"raw":"CHAPTER II<\/a>\r\n
\r\n

Which deals with the notable dispute that Sancho Panza had with Don Quixote\u2019s niece and housekeeper, as well as other amusing topics<\/span><\/h2>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

Our history recounts that the cries heard by Don Quixote, the priest, and the barber came from the niece and housekeeper and were directed at Sancho Panza, who was struggling to come in to see Don Quixote, while they barred his way, shouting:<\/p>\r\n

\u201cWhat does this vagabond want in our house? Go back home, brother, for you and nobody else lead our master astray and lure him out of his house and take him to those godforsaken places.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

To which Sancho responded:<\/p>\r\n

\u201cHousekeeper from hell, the one who\u2019s lured and led astray and taken to godforsaken places is me, not your master; he led me everywhere, and you two are deceived and are blaming the wrong person; he lured me out of my house with tricks and lies, promising me an \u00ednsula that I\u2019m still waiting for.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI hope you choke on those damned \u00ednsulas, Sancho, you wretch,\u201d responded the niece. \u201cAnd what are \u00ednsulas? Something to eat, you greedy glutton?\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not something to eat,\u201d replied Sancho, \u201cbut something to govern and rule better than any town council or magistrate in criminal court.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cEven so,\u201d said the housekeeper, \u201cyou won\u2019t come in, you bag of evil and sack of wickedness. Go and govern your own house and work your parcel of land and stop trying to rule \u00ednsulas or \u00ednsulos or whatever you call them.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

The priest and the barber were delighted to hear this three-way conversation, but Don Quixote, fearful that Sancho would blurt out and disclose a quantity of malicious nonsense and touch on points that would <\/a>not redound to his credit, called to him and made the two women be quiet and allow him to enter. Sancho came in, and the priest and the barber took their leave of Don Quixote, in despair over his health, for they saw how fixed his foolish ideas were and how enthralled he was by the nonsense of his calamitously errant chivalry; and so, the priest said to the barber:<\/p>\r\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll see, compadre, that when we least expect it, our gentleman will leave again and beat the bushes, putting all the birds to flight.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI have no doubt about that,\u201d responded the barber, \u201cbut I\u2019m not as astounded by the madness of the knight as I am by the simplicity of the squire, who has so much faith in the story of the \u00ednsula that I don\u2019t believe all the disappointments imaginable will ever get it out of his head.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cMay God help them,\u201d said the priest, \u201cand let us be on the alert: we\u2019ll see where all the foolishness in this knight and squire will lead, because it seems as if both were made from the same mold, and that the madness of the master, without the simplicity of the servant, would not be worth anything.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true,\u201d said the barber, \u201cand I\u2019d certainly like to know what they\u2019re talking about now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI assure you,\u201d responded the priest, \u201cthat the niece or the housekeeper will tell us later, because they\u2019re not the kind not to eavesdrop.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

In the meantime, Don Quixote had taken Sancho into his room and closed the door, and when they were alone, he said:<\/p>\r\n

\u201cIt grieves me, Sancho, that you have said and still say that I lured you away, knowing that I did not remain in my own house; we went out together, we left together, and we traveled together; together we shared a single fortune and a single fate: if you were tossed in a blanket once, I was battered and bruised a hundred times, and that is the one advantage I have over you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat was right and proper,\u201d responded Sancho, \u201cbecause, according to your grace, misfortunes afflict knights errant more than their squires.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cYou are wrong, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote. \u201cAs the saying goes, Quando caput dolet\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\r\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand any language but my own,\u201d responded Sancho.<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI mean,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cthat when the head aches, all the other members ache, too; since I am your lord and master, I am your head, and you my part, for you are my servant; for this reason, the evil that touches or may touch me will cause you pain, and yours will do the same to me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how it should be,\u201d said Sancho, \u201cbut when they tossed me, a <\/a>member, in the blanket, my head was behind the fence watching me fly through the air and not feeling any pain at all; since the members are obliged to suffer the pains of the head, the head should be obliged to feel their pains, too.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cDo you mean to say, Sancho,\u201d responded Don Quixote, \u201cthat I felt no pain when you were tossed in the blanket? If that is what you mean, do not say it and do not think it, for at the time I felt more pain in my spirit than you did in your body. But let us put that aside for now; there will be time for us to ponder this and draw the proper conclusion; tell me, Sancho my friend: what are people saying about me in the village? What opinion of me do the commoners have, and the gentlefolk, and the knights? What do they say about my valor, my deeds, and my courtesy? What is the talk with regard to my undertaking to revive and bring back to the world the forgotten order of chivalry? In short, Sancho, I want you to tell me what has reached your ears regarding this, and you must tell me without adding anything to the good or taking anything away from the bad, for it is fitting that loyal vassals tell the exact and unvarnished truth to their lords, not swelling it because of adulation or allowing any other idle considerations to lessen it; and I want you to know, Sancho, that if the naked truth, bare of flattery, were to reach the ears of princes, the times would be different and other ages would be deemed to be of iron when compared to our own, which, I believe, would be considered golden. Heed this warning, Sancho, and with good sense and intentions bring to my ears the truth of what you know in response to what I have asked you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI will do that very gladly, Se\u00f1or,\u201d responded Sancho, \u201con the condition that your grace will not be angry at what I say, since you want me to tell the naked truth and not dress it in any clothes except the ones it was wearing when I heard it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cUnder no circumstances shall I be angry,\u201d responded Don Quixote. \u201cYou may certainly speak freely, Sancho, without evasions.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cWell, the first thing I\u2019ll say,\u201d he said, \u201cis that the common people think your grace is a great madman, and that I\u2019m just as great a simpleton. The gentry say you have not stayed within the bounds of being a gentleman and have called yourself Don<\/span> 321<\/a><\/span><\/sup> and rushed into being a knight when you have just a vine or two and a couple of fields and nothing but rags on your back. The knights say they wouldn\u2019t want the minor gentry <\/a>to compete with them, especially those squirish gentlefolk who polish their shoes with lampblack and mend their black stockings with green thread.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201chas nothing to do with me, because I am always well-dressed, and never in patches; my clothes may be frayed, but more by my armor than by time.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cAs for your grace\u2019s valor, courtesy, deeds, and undertakings,\u201d Sancho continued, \u201cthere are different opinions. Some say, \u2018Crazy, but amusing\u2019; others, \u2018Brave, but unfortunate\u2019; and others, \u2018Courteous, but insolent\u2019; and they go on and on so much in this vein that they don\u2019t leave an untouched bone in your grace\u2019s body or mine.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cLook, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cwherever extraordinary virtue resides, there it is persecuted. Very few, if any, of the famous men of the past escaped the slanders of the wicked. Julius Caesar, that most spirited, prudent, and valiant captain, was called ambitious and not particularly clean in his clothing or habits. Alexander, whose feats earned him the title of Great, was said to have been something of a drunkard. Hercules, with all his labors, was called lascivious and soft. Don Galaor, the brother of Amad\u00eds of Gaul, was whispered to be more than a little quarrelsome, and his brother was called tearful. And so, dear Sancho, with so many calumnies directed against good men, let them say what they wish about me, as long as there is no more than what you have told me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the problem, I swear by my father!\u201d replied Sancho.<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThen, there is more?\u201d asked Don Quixote.<\/p>\r\n

\u201cAnd something much worse,\u201d said Sancho. \u201cSo far it\u2019s been nothing but child\u2019s play, but if your grace wants to know all the slander they\u2019re saying about you, I\u2019ll bring somebody here who will tell you everything and not leave out a crumb; last night Bartolom\u00e9 Carrasco\u2019s son, who\u2019s been studying at Salamanca, came home with his bachelor\u2019s degree, and I went to welcome him home and he told me that the history of your grace is already in books, and it\u2019s called The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha;<\/span> and he says that in it they mention me, Sancho Panza, by name, and my lady Dulcinea of Toboso, and other things that happened when we were alone, so that I crossed myself in fear at how the historian who wrote them could have known about them.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI assure you, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cthat the author of our history must be some wise enchanter, for nothing is hidden from them if they wish to write about it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said Sancho, \u201cif he was wise and an enchanter, then how is it <\/a>possible (according to what Bachelor Sans\u00f3n Carrasco says, for that\u2019s the name of the person I was telling you about) that the author of the history is named Cide Hamete Berenjena?\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat is a Moorish name,\u201d responded Don Quixote.<\/p>\r\n

\u201cIt must be,\u201d responded Sancho, \u201cbecause I\u2019ve heard that most Moors are very fond of eggplant.\u201d322<\/a><\/span><\/sup><\/p>\r\n

\u201cYou must be mistaken, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cin the last name of this Cide, which in Arabic means se\u00f1or.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\r\n

\u201cThat may be,\u201d replied Sancho, \u201cbut if your grace would like me to bring Sans\u00f3n Carrasco here, I\u2019ll go find him right away.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cI would like that very much, my friend,\u201d said Don Quixote. \u201cWhat you have told me has left me in suspense, and nothing I eat will taste good until I learn everything.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

\u201cThen I\u2019ll go for him now,\u201d responded Sancho.<\/p>\r\n

And leaving his master, he went to find the bachelor, with whom he returned in a very short while, and the three of them had a most amusing conversation.<\/p>\r\n","rendered":"

CHAPTER II<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

Which deals with the notable dispute that Sancho Panza had with Don Quixote\u2019s niece and housekeeper, as well as other amusing topics<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

Our history recounts that the cries heard by Don Quixote, the priest, and the barber came from the niece and housekeeper and were directed at Sancho Panza, who was struggling to come in to see Don Quixote, while they barred his way, shouting:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does this vagabond want in our house? Go back home, brother, for you and nobody else lead our master astray and lure him out of his house and take him to those godforsaken places.\u201d<\/p>\n

To which Sancho responded:<\/p>\n

\u201cHousekeeper from hell, the one who\u2019s lured and led astray and taken to godforsaken places is me, not your master; he led me everywhere, and you two are deceived and are blaming the wrong person; he lured me out of my house with tricks and lies, promising me an \u00ednsula that I\u2019m still waiting for.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you choke on those damned \u00ednsulas, Sancho, you wretch,\u201d responded the niece. \u201cAnd what are \u00ednsulas? Something to eat, you greedy glutton?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not something to eat,\u201d replied Sancho, \u201cbut something to govern and rule better than any town council or magistrate in criminal court.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEven so,\u201d said the housekeeper, \u201cyou won\u2019t come in, you bag of evil and sack of wickedness. Go and govern your own house and work your parcel of land and stop trying to rule \u00ednsulas or \u00ednsulos or whatever you call them.\u201d<\/p>\n

The priest and the barber were delighted to hear this three-way conversation, but Don Quixote, fearful that Sancho would blurt out and disclose a quantity of malicious nonsense and touch on points that would <\/a>not redound to his credit, called to him and made the two women be quiet and allow him to enter. Sancho came in, and the priest and the barber took their leave of Don Quixote, in despair over his health, for they saw how fixed his foolish ideas were and how enthralled he was by the nonsense of his calamitously errant chivalry; and so, the priest said to the barber:<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll see, compadre, that when we least expect it, our gentleman will leave again and beat the bushes, putting all the birds to flight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have no doubt about that,\u201d responded the barber, \u201cbut I\u2019m not as astounded by the madness of the knight as I am by the simplicity of the squire, who has so much faith in the story of the \u00ednsula that I don\u2019t believe all the disappointments imaginable will ever get it out of his head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMay God help them,\u201d said the priest, \u201cand let us be on the alert: we\u2019ll see where all the foolishness in this knight and squire will lead, because it seems as if both were made from the same mold, and that the madness of the master, without the simplicity of the servant, would not be worth anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s true,\u201d said the barber, \u201cand I\u2019d certainly like to know what they\u2019re talking about now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI assure you,\u201d responded the priest, \u201cthat the niece or the housekeeper will tell us later, because they\u2019re not the kind not to eavesdrop.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the meantime, Don Quixote had taken Sancho into his room and closed the door, and when they were alone, he said:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt grieves me, Sancho, that you have said and still say that I lured you away, knowing that I did not remain in my own house; we went out together, we left together, and we traveled together; together we shared a single fortune and a single fate: if you were tossed in a blanket once, I was battered and bruised a hundred times, and that is the one advantage I have over you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was right and proper,\u201d responded Sancho, \u201cbecause, according to your grace, misfortunes afflict knights errant more than their squires.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are wrong, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote. \u201cAs the saying goes, Quando caput dolet\u2014\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand any language but my own,\u201d responded Sancho.<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cthat when the head aches, all the other members ache, too; since I am your lord and master, I am your head, and you my part, for you are my servant; for this reason, the evil that touches or may touch me will cause you pain, and yours will do the same to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how it should be,\u201d said Sancho, \u201cbut when they tossed me, a <\/a>member, in the blanket, my head was behind the fence watching me fly through the air and not feeling any pain at all; since the members are obliged to suffer the pains of the head, the head should be obliged to feel their pains, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you mean to say, Sancho,\u201d responded Don Quixote, \u201cthat I felt no pain when you were tossed in the blanket? If that is what you mean, do not say it and do not think it, for at the time I felt more pain in my spirit than you did in your body. But let us put that aside for now; there will be time for us to ponder this and draw the proper conclusion; tell me, Sancho my friend: what are people saying about me in the village? What opinion of me do the commoners have, and the gentlefolk, and the knights? What do they say about my valor, my deeds, and my courtesy? What is the talk with regard to my undertaking to revive and bring back to the world the forgotten order of chivalry? In short, Sancho, I want you to tell me what has reached your ears regarding this, and you must tell me without adding anything to the good or taking anything away from the bad, for it is fitting that loyal vassals tell the exact and unvarnished truth to their lords, not swelling it because of adulation or allowing any other idle considerations to lessen it; and I want you to know, Sancho, that if the naked truth, bare of flattery, were to reach the ears of princes, the times would be different and other ages would be deemed to be of iron when compared to our own, which, I believe, would be considered golden. Heed this warning, Sancho, and with good sense and intentions bring to my ears the truth of what you know in response to what I have asked you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will do that very gladly, Se\u00f1or,\u201d responded Sancho, \u201con the condition that your grace will not be angry at what I say, since you want me to tell the naked truth and not dress it in any clothes except the ones it was wearing when I heard it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnder no circumstances shall I be angry,\u201d responded Don Quixote. \u201cYou may certainly speak freely, Sancho, without evasions.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the first thing I\u2019ll say,\u201d he said, \u201cis that the common people think your grace is a great madman, and that I\u2019m just as great a simpleton. The gentry say you have not stayed within the bounds of being a gentleman and have called yourself Don<\/span> 321<\/a><\/span><\/sup> and rushed into being a knight when you have just a vine or two and a couple of fields and nothing but rags on your back. The knights say they wouldn\u2019t want the minor gentry <\/a>to compete with them, especially those squirish gentlefolk who polish their shoes with lampblack and mend their black stockings with green thread.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201chas nothing to do with me, because I am always well-dressed, and never in patches; my clothes may be frayed, but more by my armor than by time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs for your grace\u2019s valor, courtesy, deeds, and undertakings,\u201d Sancho continued, \u201cthere are different opinions. Some say, \u2018Crazy, but amusing\u2019; others, \u2018Brave, but unfortunate\u2019; and others, \u2018Courteous, but insolent\u2019; and they go on and on so much in this vein that they don\u2019t leave an untouched bone in your grace\u2019s body or mine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cwherever extraordinary virtue resides, there it is persecuted. Very few, if any, of the famous men of the past escaped the slanders of the wicked. Julius Caesar, that most spirited, prudent, and valiant captain, was called ambitious and not particularly clean in his clothing or habits. Alexander, whose feats earned him the title of Great, was said to have been something of a drunkard. Hercules, with all his labors, was called lascivious and soft. Don Galaor, the brother of Amad\u00eds of Gaul, was whispered to be more than a little quarrelsome, and his brother was called tearful. And so, dear Sancho, with so many calumnies directed against good men, let them say what they wish about me, as long as there is no more than what you have told me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the problem, I swear by my father!\u201d replied Sancho.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen, there is more?\u201d asked Don Quixote.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd something much worse,\u201d said Sancho. \u201cSo far it\u2019s been nothing but child\u2019s play, but if your grace wants to know all the slander they\u2019re saying about you, I\u2019ll bring somebody here who will tell you everything and not leave out a crumb; last night Bartolom\u00e9 Carrasco\u2019s son, who\u2019s been studying at Salamanca, came home with his bachelor\u2019s degree, and I went to welcome him home and he told me that the history of your grace is already in books, and it\u2019s called The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La Mancha;<\/span> and he says that in it they mention me, Sancho Panza, by name, and my lady Dulcinea of Toboso, and other things that happened when we were alone, so that I crossed myself in fear at how the historian who wrote them could have known about them.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI assure you, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cthat the author of our history must be some wise enchanter, for nothing is hidden from them if they wish to write about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell,\u201d said Sancho, \u201cif he was wise and an enchanter, then how is it <\/a>possible (according to what Bachelor Sans\u00f3n Carrasco says, for that\u2019s the name of the person I was telling you about) that the author of the history is named Cide Hamete Berenjena?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is a Moorish name,\u201d responded Don Quixote.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt must be,\u201d responded Sancho, \u201cbecause I\u2019ve heard that most Moors are very fond of eggplant.\u201d322<\/a><\/span><\/sup><\/p>\n

\u201cYou must be mistaken, Sancho,\u201d said Don Quixote, \u201cin the last name of this Cide, which in Arabic means se\u00f1or.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat may be,\u201d replied Sancho, \u201cbut if your grace would like me to bring Sans\u00f3n Carrasco here, I\u2019ll go find him right away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI would like that very much, my friend,\u201d said Don Quixote. \u201cWhat you have told me has left me in suspense, and nothing I eat will taste good until I learn everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen I\u2019ll go for him now,\u201d responded Sancho.<\/p>\n

And leaving his master, he went to find the bachelor, with whom he returned in a very short while, and the three of them had a most amusing conversation.<\/p>\n

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